Why I don't work with Children

As an EFT Practitioner, I don't work with children. Don't get me wrong...I really love kids, they are the best! I believe that we as adults have a responsibility to do our own work, whether using EFT or other modalities, so that we can be the calm nervous system that the children around us can co-regulate with. Then those children can learn to regulate themselves the way nature intended. But... When that fails, when we have not been surrounded by calm, regulated nervous systems, I think EFT is a great tool for older teens---just not children. Why not? Because EFT works, and because there is an inherent and unavoidable power imbalance between children and their caregivers. Without us, they can't survive. They will do what they need to do to please us. For example: saying they feel better to make us feel better so that we will let them stop.

I am speaking from experience. From the time my twins were 6 months old, I would tap on their little bodies to soothe everything from injuries to teething, and today they would say THAT kind of Tapping was okay. BUT when they were school-aged, I encouraged them to use the child friendly versions of EFT available at that time to help them to regulate at school. Now they say, looking back, that I forced them. Years later, I found out that they had lied to me about results just to have it over with, and that they believed that I wouldn't love them if they expressed any negative emotions. Even worse, I believe that their ADHD and Autism went undetected because Tapping with my kids caused them to be emotionally regulated enough at school that nobody suspected. Educators often decide who needs help based on how disruptive a child is and mine weren't disruptive enough. Unfortunately there is so much more to Autism and ADHD than emotional meltdowns. They got their diagnoses at 18 years of age. If they had never used EFT, I imagine here in Ontario there may have been some help for them in the form of early diagnosis and accomodation. We don't know what is causing emotional dysregulation in a child, and remember...EFT works. It could hide neurodivergence, and it could hide trouble at home---because EFT works very reliably to calm the nervous system.

Some children may have serious trauma and may really benefit from some form of EFT or Tapping. Those children are outside my scope of practice and I would recommend a certified EFT Practitioner who is also a mental health professional. I am here to empower people who are doing "okay" to use EFT Tapping to get themselves to a place where they are thriving. The children in those people's lives will reap the benefits. If you are going to use EFT Tapping with your own children, here are some guidelines from my children:

• Let children know that no emotion is bad or wrong, we can use Tapping for excitement and joy too! It helps us feel safe to be excited and joyful.

• Don't use set-up phrases.

• Never force a child to tap.

• No means no, and don't encourage them to continue after they have said no.

• First Aid Tapping is great!

  It doesn't require set-up phrases, just tap about what happened and how they feel about it. Use EFT as the last tool in your first aid kit, after you have stopped any bleeding, etc. Always follow up with your doctor. EFT works, and it has been known to hide an injury that needs care, even when the pain is gone. EFT does not replace medical care.